Hi Divas,

Just incase you visit my page and see things popping and disappearing it's just me editing things around and adding features to continue making this blog feel like me! So don't mind me and the weird changes being made LOL..... 

Hope your guys week is going well and magical, and ill speak to you guys in my next post this weekend. 

                         Xoxo, Sam💋

Dear Blog, 

What song would you say defines your current era in life at this moment? 

The song that I've been currently listening to non-stop has been from Sienna Spiro called "Pure". Her entire album has me in a chokehold, the way she builds up each emotions in every song is INSANE. But this one in particular has made me feel a certain emotion that I can't seem to shake off. Now i've listened to my fair share of songs that have made me feel strong emotions before, but this one has taken the cake for sure! (inserting lyrics example that has me hooked) 

[Refrain]
And I don't know what this all means
What this all means? It don't feel like me
And you won't give me the deal
I wish I was real, I wish I was

[Chorus]
I think about it all the time
What I've been doing with my life
'Cause when it calls me back again
I hope it meant something
I hope it meant something

The moment I heard that chorus I was left speechless, and started tearing up right away. The parts that struck me the most were: "I think about it all the time What I've been doing with my life" and "What this all means? It don't feel like me". Lately I've been going through the motions, and been thinking a lot about my path in life. Ever since i've graduated high school in 2020 part of me feels like i've been in the same emotional, and physical loop. Though I can be blind to my own accomplishments and the way i've changed since then, I still have this constant voice in my head telling me that I haven't been doing enough. 

I am a dreamer and as a dreamer sometimes we end up getting stuck in dreamland and decide to put reality far away from our review mirror. And I think because i've allowed myself to be in my dreamland for so long, I haven't given myself the chance to truly put into action those dreams/goals i've had built for myself since I was a teenager. Part of me believes that I won't become the person that I dream about everyday due to the constant doubts and fear I have built around it from traumas. The 'What If's' haunt me constantly and I eventually end up letting the cons on my list in my head beat me. And thats when the part of 'What I've been doing with my life' comes to play, I wonder so much what have I done since 2020, and who i've become. Have I become someone kinder, someone who still cares about the things she loves, someone who takes risk and doesn't think about the consequences, or someone who takes life by the throat and lets it know that it's going to live and not be in survival mode anymore! I like to think that I have, I hope that I have... 

Sienna Spiro really struck a cord in me, her song has undone me in ways that make me question everything around me. She is a rising star and a breath of fresh air in music right now. That's not even accounting for all the female artist that are breaking the charts as I am writing this (lol). 

Let me know what song describes your current era down below. Happy Sunday diva's, I hope that this week is a magical one, and that you all be safe! 

                                              Xoxo, Sam💋

Dear Blog, 

This month the book club that I am in is reading this book called "Our Perfect Storm" By Carley Fortune. Before I continue my ted talk, the book club that I am in is called "Hot and Well-Read" created by Victoria Villaroel on the app called Fable. Just incase you guys would like to join us and read along with us too! 

Now let's get back to my ted talk!

The two main characters named Frankie and George are long time best friends. They come together for a week in Tofino after Frankie fiancé left her the day of the wedding with a note saying "I love you, but I can't marry you". Frankie and George's friendship in the beginning of the book seem to be a bit estranged and in a semi rough patch. George uses this opportunity to create a plan in helping his best friend get over her heartbreak, and also fix their friendship before it's too late. They both decide to go on what would've been her honeymoon trip on one last adventure together before having to go their separate ways and back to their regular life's. 

 As I am reading the book, I am suddenly hit with this kind of nostalgia that i've experienced quite before. And that is the longing of being intimate with someone your fond with, without ever having to take off your clothes. As humans I feel like we have lost the art of truly being intimate with someone with out it ever reaching the physical state. Now I know sex is something that we all crave as humans beings especially to take the edge off or to connect with someone we "love" or to connect in general. But when was the last time you ever truly connected with someone without it resulting in sex? 

And that is something I yearn for everyday, to connect with someone on a deeper level where our end result is not sex. To sit in comfortable silence, to hold hands while walking, to read each other favorite book to each other, to share wired headphones and play a song we both love, slow dance in the kitchen, tell silly stories about our childhood, and what made us become the person we are today. 

     

I only had this kind of encounter two times in my life with two people who I don't talk to anymore. Yet as I am writing this I can still remember the way I felt in those moments just like it was yesterday. 

Intimacy is a lost art that I hope we can bring back with each other, whether that be platonic or romantic. I truly do hope that and can't wait to experience it again with someone I love or meet along the way... I hope you guys enjoyed this small ted talk and I hope you guys get to experience the same thing because gosh is it a magical feeling.

                                                                

                                                                       Xoxo, Sam💋

                                                     

Dear Blog, 

I want to buy everything so I buy NOTHING....... 

I have this itch to just say FUCK IT and get everything I want in all my carts. But the responsible adult in me doesn't let me pull the trigger and just get all the things I want. And because of that I just end up buying nothing and beating myself up for it!!! For example, I am going on vacation to Cancun Mexico next month with my cousin and her husband and you already know how this goes. Vacation = buying new clothes for the days you're staying there, restocking on all skincare products for the trip, getting last min makeup products to look beautiful for your digital pictures and film camera. Buying cute accessories to go with your outfit so that it looks like you didn't put a single thought into styling it but knowing it took you 4-7 hours going through outfit inspo on pinterest just to come up with the outfit look!!!! 

Do you guys see my dilemma? Its hard being a woman out here. *insert shaking my head emoji* . But on top of me also wanting to get all these things for my vacation I also want to buy regular things that i've had in my cart for ages (aka a couple of weeks, aka since June) as a way of spoiling myself. Like I am in my 20's with no KIDS, no HUSBAND/ WIFE, no HOUSEHOLD responsibilities (I still live with my parents, so I don't pay for anything just yet) and because I don't have those type of worries in my life, I just want to spend my money on the things that bring me JOY ;/..... 

Just thinking about all of this gives me a headache ughhh , what should a girl do y'all? I am in SHAMBLES just debating to pull the trigger on buying everything and dealing with the guilt/ consequences of my own actions later on! I would say give me suggestions but I don't have any readers yet.... till then I will report back on what I decided to do. 

                                                                                 Xoxo, Sam💋

Dear Blog, 

This weekend I noticed a couple of things, but out of everything only 3 things stood out to me the most. 

1. I haven't gone on a real solo date in a while.. 

2. I take care of people more than I try to take care of myself

3. July is my busiest month out of the year 🫠

Now the first one is semi true semi not, only because I did go out by myself last week to go develop my film rolls from Paris at Bleekers Digital Solutions. And then walked around Union Square until i got hungry and had a slice of pizza which was kinda good. But still I don't really count it as a solo date, it was more of a quick errand to the city to do something i've been holding off since I got back from Paris in march. Since I mentioned developing my films here are some of my favorite pictures from Paris that I can't get over and can't believe my film camera even captured this beauty so clearly!!! 

Louvre Museum 

Musée d'Orsay

                                                Palace of Versailles       

Louvre Museum

Of course there are more pictures that are my favorite but for now these are some that I will share until my next blog post that will be dedicated to traveling/doing things alone. Now let me continue with my debrief! Ever since April I haven't been on a proper solo date with myself and it has made me feel a bit frustrated with myself. In the beginning of the year I had made a promise to myself that I would go on solo dates and enjoy my own company every chance that I get. And now its July and I haven't really taken the chance to go on a proper solo date where I do something fun and productive. Theres so many exhibitions going on in the Museum's around me and so many places on my notes app and tik tok favorites that I say I will go see and try it out but just can't seem to get around it. When I get this feeling it kinda feels like a punch to the gut, it makes me feel like quarantine me again or the me from 3 years back who also stopped going on solo dates because anxiety had gotten the best of her. But I need to give myself grace because this is just a momentary feeling and not a permanent one that I need to fixate on. 

Now next one on the list that kind of connects to the first one but not entirely. Ever since I was 10 years old i've been taking care of someone else, and as i grew up I realized that I never once have stopped to check in with myself and ask myself "are you okay?" and "what do you need for yourself?". I have always put my needs on the back burner, and made everybody's needs a first priority. Which is my mistake for doing because after a certain while we are the ones that allow to continue to accept those kinds of things in life whether we are doing it subconsciously or consciously. But nonetheless it's something that i've been trying to work on this year, learning how to water/ take care of myself before I go and try to do it for somebody else. If I can't be there for myself then how can I be there for someone? 

And last but not least the last one on my list....... July is always my busiest month out of the year. No matter how much I try not to have it be so packed with things, somehow something new always pops up. This month alone I have 4 back to back birthdays and birthday parties, and then I also have my job and my job errands. And in between all of that I have not gotten the chance to relax and enjoy my own company, or read a book that I have on my "To Be Read" list!! Somehow in some ways all three things on my list seem to have one common denominator..... and that is not putting myself first and going back to doing the things I love or checking in with myself when major events happen through out my life. 

Maybe you guys have felt the same way too, and are probably struggling with the same notion as I am. Hopefully we can get over this feeling too and get back to taking care of ourselves and doing the things we love! Happy Monday and may this week be magical!

                                               Xoxo, Sam <3

Welcome to "For The Plot" Blog :)

Before I start off with introducing myself, let me just say that i am about to live my Jenna Hamilton blog dream. For those of you who remember Mtv's golden time where Awkward, Teen Wolf, Jersey Shore, Faking It, Finding Carter, and The Real World had us all in a chokehold. Then you will understand who i am referencing in my opening sentence (lol). 
Now for the real introduction...... 

Hi, my name is Samantha Isabel Breton, but i love just going by Sam or Sam Isabel. I am currently 24 years old (of course still figuring out my 20's, i mean who isnt?) i was born and raised in New York where I still currently live, helloooo its new york or nowhere (go Knicks!!! ). My birthday is March 20, 2002 so shoutout to all my pisces girlies on here, and to my other fellow water signs aka cancer and scorpios :p. 

I finally decided to start a blog after seeing one tik tok from this creator named; Sage4ever4, so shoutout to her for inspiring me to start this out. Bear with me as i am still new to this and figuring out how to design my page to where it shows my actual personality and aura. This is obviously something out of my comfort zone, but this year I am trying out things that I never thought I would do just for the hell of it! 

I am hoping that this blog will inspire those of you who are just like me figuring out their 20's while also trying to live life, travel the world , find love within themselves, make new friends and make memories along the way. 

xoxo, Sam 💋

MY SOCIAL MEDIAS

Substack @samisabel

Pinterest @Wheressamm

Tik Tok @Wheressamm

Instagram (even though I deleted the app and taking a break from it) @Wheressamm